Kiss Me Baby Excerpt

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Montclair Twelvetoes, Most High Regent Retired, known to his friends as Monty, had been a little nervous about taking a vacation so far away from his home planet of Kazza. He’d always lived on Kazza, ever since he’d been born, but he’d dreamed of the stars since his eyes had been open enough to see them.

And he’d always dreamed of the paradise planet called Earth, a legend among Kazzaians fortunate enough to save up the money to pay for the travel. Kazza wasn’t one of the more prosperous of the AllUnion planets, and they certainly had no intergalactic freighters of their own. Nope, they had to pay for a ticket, and pay a lot.

So, having served as High Regent for years and hoarding his salary, he’d shelled out for the ticket to Earth.

He’d finally, finally arrived.

And now he was at his destination and he had to say. It wasn’t paradise. In fact, it was kind of junk.

He was miserable.

Part of the problem stemmed from the fact  this was not the way he’d pictured retirement.  He’d even gotten a great deal on the ticket, which had boded well, hadn’t it? There just so happened to be a AllUnion freighter headed toward Earth anyway to deliver kittens to unsuspecting, lucky human families, cutting his ticket price by a third.

Not all Kazzaian citizens became Most High Regents. Some orphans were adopted elsewhere by an AllUnion adoption agency.

It was still hard to believe he was truly on Earth. That Earth, the legend, was more like Earth, the disappointment.

Captain Kerr had assured Monty he’d love it here. He’d actually been on the planet, unlike most Kazzaians Monty had met. He’d described it as beautiful, with an abundance of trees, flowers, great scenery, lots of food and plenty of warm sunshine. A Kazzaian’s dream of the perfect vacation spot.

But as soon as the freighter dropped him in a bed of grass in the middle of an open field, he’d discovered it was cold.

The transport beam shuttered off, leaving Monty alone, and completely devoid of advanced technology, as one had to be on one of these more primitive planets. Supposedly it was worth it. A single moon hovered in the night sky overhead, a far cry from the five moons Monty was used to seeing.

At first, even though the cold crept through his fur to shiver his skin, he decided then and there that Captain Kerr could not have been more correct. Earth was beautiful. It smelled of so much greenery! And prey! And interesting things!

Minutes later, once the bright blip overhead that was the ship departed to deliver its kittens, Monty began to feel alone and a tad bit nervous.

“Well, hell,” Monty cussed. Out of habit, since he’d said a swear word, Monty spat once left and once right, asking forgiveness from Felidae, the highest god of Kazza. She probably couldn’t hear his prayers or apologies here, but it never hurt to be careful.

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